Thursday, April 10, 2008

What I'm Reading



A dear friend recently gave me this book - a New York Times Bestseller - and swore it worked for her. Since we have toddlers the same age, I was happy to give it a try.

This fun book is filled with exercises, little scenarios and cartoons. It is definitely not a "How To" guide on raising children, but more a way to understanding your children better. What works for you might not work for me. Since each situation is so personal, one has to truly adapt the book to the relationship and not the other way around.

I have seen a huge improvement just in the last 48 hours. Here's a typical scenario between my daughter and me:

K: I don't want the yogurt. It's spicy.
Me: It's not spicy. You mean its sweet.
K: No, its spicy.
Me: It can't be. Yogurt isn't spicy. Let me try it. See, its not spicy.
K: It is. It is.
Me: No its not and you are going to sit here till you finish it.
K: Nooooooo!!! (crying)

After reading this book, our lunch yesterday went like this:

K: I don't want the yogurt. It's spicy.
Me: Do you find it spicy?
K: Hmmm. Not really spicy. Sour.
Me: Wait - let me try it. Yes, it is quite sour. (Made a funny "sourpuss" face. She started to giggle. Continued making faces. More giggling)
K: Can I have it less sour?
Me: Sure (and added a teaspoon of sugar)
K: Thanks. Its yummy. (Still giggling)

There was a huge difference. Both in my attitude and hers. The last 2 days have been ones of pure self-discovery. I didn't imagine we could go for 48 hours without a tantrum, and we have.

I've only read the first two chapters - which teach how to approach a situation with empathy and how to identify what your child is feeling. I've learned so much already.

Thank you for the book. I'm sure my daughter would thank you too.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your very welcome :0).... a little forewarning... sometimes it takes a lot of will power, especially when you are tired and just want to shout...

Pecos Blue said...

Cool I will check this out.

Arundathi said...

@ Z - I know what you mean but I'm determined to make it work.

@ Pecos - Pls do. Its quite cool.

Roop Rai said...

:) thanks for sharing. look forward to read more of your conquests.

Arundathi said...

Thanks! I enjoyed reading parts of your blog - especially the little observations along your travels! :)

nandita said...

Hmm...interesting...will remember this book when I reach that stage in life :)

Arundathi said...

Its really the most exciting stage!

Arundathi said...

hmmm...on second thought, did i say that about all the previous stages too? :)

Jayashree said...

Sounds like something I should read....

Arundathi said...

its very practical and nice to read!

Pearlsofeast said...

Hey Arundhati , this is cool space, loved to read this article. My son is 4 year old and it is a common scenario.Thanks for the info.

Arundathi said...

Good luck to you :) I hope it works!

Deepa said...

This book is a classic. Was recommended to me by my friend whose sons are now 30+. I love it. I find I can apply these techniques to improve ALL my relationships. --Deepa
(Love your Madras blog!! Have to send the link to my mom.)

Spice said...

I guess i need to read that book....